If you aren't familiar with the oddness of a Rob Zombie film, or Rob Zombie in general, there will be several things in the first few minutes of The Lords of Salem that will have you turning the film off in disgust. I'll be frank, so to not waste your time reading this review: If you didn't like any of Zombie's other films, you won't like this, either. Okay, so I guess if you're still reading this, you like Zombie's films and are excited to hear what sort of macabre situation Rob sets us up for. Let's get into it, but I'm warning you, there's no turning back...
Rob Zombie's latest dive into horror is about witches. I have to admit that when I first heard what the film was about, I was skeptical. I'm usually not a fan of witches in movies, unless it's Hocus Pocus, because that movie is all sorts of awesome. But I'll save that for October and The Graveside Report. Back to The Lords of Salem. A group of witches from Salem, MA is hunted down by Rev. John Hawthorne for performing "the devil's music" in the woods of Salem, but they are doing much more than that. The coven has chosen a woman to be the surrogate for the devil's child. After performing a dance around the fire... naked (full frontal)... they cut the baby right out of the pregnant woman. However, when the child is born a normal human, the lead witch (played by Meg Foster) repeatedly spits in the baby's face. It's an intense opening, but it's only prep for the rest of the weird stuff to follow. The scene certainly makes the viewer uncomfortable, even if the baby is obviously an animatronic.
We jump forward to present day where we see Heidi (played by Sherri Moon Zombie), a local Radio Personality. Heidi is a part of "The Big H" radio show, teaming with Herman "Whitey" Salvador (played by Jeff Daniel Phillips) and Herman "Munster" Jackson (played by Ken Foree). The film takes place over a week, and at the start of that week, Heidi receives a vinyl record at the station sent by "The Lords" in a wooden box. When played, the music makes Heidi shut down and envision the burning of the witches seen in the first scene. The record is played over the air and the group is dubbed The Lords of Salem. As Heidi hears the record more, she begins to go crazy, which leads to a few "didn't really happen" scenes. All the while, Francis Mathias is trying to crack the code of this mysterious record, biting off a little more than he can chew. Not wanting to spoil too much, that's all I can say about the plot. It's strange. It's odd. It's Zombie.
Sherri Moon Zombie does a fantastic job as Heidi, and you can tell that the role was written for her. She plays all her ranges superbly and has the right "look" for the character and the subject matter. However, my favorite performance was Bruce Davison as Francis Mathias. Davison brings a much welcomed kindness and enthusiasm to the film as the could-be heroine. There are a few Zombie regulars, like Ken Foree, but I was surprised by the lack of usually suspects. Sid Haig apparently shot a scene for the film, but the scene was cut in editing, which is very unfortunate. Even though the style of the film is familiar to what Zombie has done in the past, it's set in Massachusetts, which is quite a change of scenery from anything else he's done. Still, Zombie hits the mark with the feeling of the Northeast, and everything works on that level.
More than any of his other films, it feels like Zombie's vision was inspired, specifically by Stanley Kubrick. Quite a few times you'll notice nods to The Shining and Eyes Wide Shut. It makes for an explosive combination that can be hit or miss. One thing I always look for when I'm reviewing a film is how it stuck with me the next day. There are several images that have stuck with me after watching The Lords of Salem, and for that, I can appreciate it. However, the movie takes a turn down a dark alleyway, and for that, it mars the experience. I believe that films are art, but I also believe that they need to keep one foot on the ground. The Lords of Salem leaps into insanity in it's third act, leaving me scratching my head a bit. Apparently, some have claimed that Zombie meant this to be a "metaphorical and spiritual" prequel to his Halloween films. Is this suggesting that Michael Myers is the devil's child, or does it have a more abstract meaning?
I've enjoyed all of Zombies films, but I'm not sure where I'd place this one. It satisfies the "crazy imagery" itch, but falls short in the story department. It limps across the finish line with a blown hamstring after sprinting through the first two acts. Still, The Lords of Salem is worth a watch if you're also a fan of Zombie's previous works. It's worth it just to say you saw some crazy shit, and trust me, you will see some crazy shit.
Reason to Stay After Credits: NO
I've enjoyed all of Zombies films, but I'm not sure where I'd place this one. It satisfies the "crazy imagery" itch, but falls short in the story department. It limps across the finish line with a blown hamstring after sprinting through the first two acts. Still, The Lords of Salem is worth a watch if you're also a fan of Zombie's previous works. It's worth it just to say you saw some crazy shit, and trust me, you will see some crazy shit.
Reason to Stay After Credits: NO
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