Lexicon
5/14/2013
12:28pm

Anyone who knows me know that I'm a bit of a horror fanatic. I'm sure you'll all find out come October when the second annual Graveside Report hits this very website. Texas Chainsaw, the pseudo-sequel to the 1973 original film, is being released today on DVD and Blu Ray (I'll have a review up on Wednesday) and so I thought it would be fitting to focus the second installment of The Lex List on the most horrifying attires in wrestling history, according to me of course. Last week's Lex List was a big success and got a lot of folks talking. Once again, feel free to sound off in the Facebook Group or in the chat during The Rant tonight with your personal top 5!

Rellik

Yes, Rellik is Killer spelled backwards. Yes, Rellik is a bit of a rip off of The Great Muta's more recent masks. But at least it's a well done rip off. I've always liked Johnny the Bull, and I thought he reinvented himself nicely here. Unfortunately, the situation Rellik was put in, like most situations in TNA, wasn't a good one, and Rellik disappeared pretty quickly. Rellik also appeared in AAA's Lucha Libre USA promotion, but has seemingly faded away. 

Doink the Clown

Depending on your personal phobias, this might be #1 for you. Matt Bourne as Doink the Clown was masterful. The character might have been a handicap for anyone else, but Bourne embraced both the face and heel Doink and made a sure-fired career killer into something that was not only bearable, but fun to watch. The thing I like is that the attire didn't change between face Doink and heel Doink, blurring the line between the clown, and all clowns around the world for that matter. 

Demolition

So much to say about Demolition's attire... so much. Let's start off with the masks they wore during their entrance. It's as if WWF went down to Camp Crystal Lake and stole Jason Voorhees' gimp masks (the safe word is Pamela). Then you have the interesting leather straps being held together by an steel ring in the middle of their chests. This reminds me of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, when Jesse discovers his gym teacher is an avid S&M practitioner. Is that ring supposed to be a target? All sexual jokes aside, this is some pretty horrifying attire. And then, the duo takes those masks off to reveal some sinister face paint! WHERE DOES IT END, DEMOLITION?!

The Artist Formerly Known as Goldust

You know you're starting off on a weird path when the basis of your new character is Prince. Goldust was picking up a lot of momentum in an odd, yet entertaining, feud with Brian Pillman. Pillman passed away, leaving Goldust to find something new. They teamed the son of the Dream up with another member of a wrestling family in Luna Vachon. What came next was so horrifying, it actually had mothers ushering their children out of the arena. Led to the ring with a chain by Luna, Goldust was clad in a green, sleeveless jumpsuit. The suit was adorned with spikes, a cross hatched thong, and metal bra with pink spikes sticking out simulating The Gold One's nips. Goldust was also using a walker, but perhaps the most horrifying thing about his ensemble was the pink ball gag stuff into his mouth. This confused me as a child, and it confuses me to this day. This is one of those things where you scratch your head about and yell "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!"

The Great Muta

Great Muta has had many of different looks, but the one posted in the pic below is perhaps the most horrifying of his wardrobe, if not the most horrifying in all of wrestling. I conduct my lists by using the first thoughts that pop into my head, and Muta was definitely #1. Just look at the intricate detail and work put into that mask! Muta deserves to be #1.